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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23685106">like breathing</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bouenkyou/pseuds/bouenkyou'>bouenkyou</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Domestic Fluff, Future Fic, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, M/M, mentions of akisae</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:42:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,902</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23685106</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bouenkyou/pseuds/bouenkyou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Sometimes Yuusuke wondered if this part of Makoto’s life that he wasn’t able to fix was going to be the downfall of their relationship.</i>
</p><p>Makoto worries, but Yuusuke is a man of action.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Shimada Makoto/Takinoue Yuusuke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>HQ!! Writers Fic Exchange</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>like breathing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gilrael/gifts">Gilrael</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So, it's my first time writing this pairing but this idea wouldn't leave my head and I had to run with it. I hope you like it, Gil! </p><p>Thanks to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/quantize">quantize</a> for beta reading!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yuusuke unlocked the door to their apartment and hit the light switch. The light flickered on and he grunted as he hauled an almost unconscious Makoto past the door frame. Taking off both of their shoes at the entrance was a colossal exercise in balance after a night of drinking.  </p><p>“God, did you really have to drink yourself this silly?” He carefully dropped Makoto on the couch. Makoto simply groaned in reply. </p><p>With a sympathetic look, Yuusuke got some water from the tap and sat next to Makoto, propping him up. “Here, drink this. Are you feeling sick?” </p><p>Makoto cracked his eyes open with a little bit of effort and stared at Yuusuke. Yuusuke stared back, wondering if Makoto had heard him at all. He was about to ask again when Makoto belatedly shook his head. He drank the water slowly and for a short time the only noise in the room was the hum of the refrigerator just a few feet away from the couch. </p><p>“Saeko-chan looked incredibly happy,” Makoto slurred wistfully as he gave the glass back to Yuusuke. “Can you believe they’re getting married?” </p><p>“Kei seemed really troubled, though.” Yuusuke chuckled. Kei had sat there with a sour face the whole time during the celebratory dinner while Ryuu had poured him one sake cup after another. “It’s really nice they’re getting married. They really suit each other.” </p><p>Makoto nodded thoughtfully, but didn’t say anything. The silence stretched for seconds, and then minutes. Yuusuke winced internally—Makoto was a heavy drinker, but never the type to get drunk, so that had been his first clue that something was up. This eerie quietness was the second clue. </p><p>Yuusuke knew Makoto thought of both Saeko and Akiteru as his close friends, even if they’d only met while watching high school volleyball matches together, or maybe exactly because of that. So he couldn’t imagine Makoto wasn’t happy for them, but there was something bothering him, and Yuusuke had to find out what it was, for his own sanity. </p><p>“Makoto-san, are you dead?” </p><p>“What? No!” Makoto shook his head and sighed. “What were we…? Ah, Aki-kun and Sae-chan. Yeah, they’re a great couple.” </p><p>Yuusuke narrowed his eyes and waited. Makoto pursed his lips. </p><p>”They’re nearly thirty, so the time is right.” He added thoughtfully. “Ryuu got married recently, too, so I’m sure their parents are relieved now that both of them have settled down.” He reclined on the couch, swinging his legs up and on top of Yuusuke’s. </p><p>So this was it. Age, family. He knew Makoto had always been a traditional man deep down. Someone who kept in mind his responsibilities to his family and their family business, especially since he was the eldest son. Yuusuke didn’t have to worry about that, as he was not expected to take over the family business, but he knew that Makoto, even though he never said it out loud, felt like a disappointment for not being able to fulfill his duties. It was not about their relationship, Yuusuke knew, it was about what social expectations Makoto thought his family and the townspeople had for him. </p><p>Sometimes Yuusuke wondered if this part of Makoto’s life that he wasn’t able to fix was going to be the downfall of their relationship. </p><p>While lost in thought, Yuusuke hummed and ran his fingers up Makoto’s calf, stopping at the back of his knee. Makoto squirmed, pulling his leg away. “Oh, please. Not there!” He looked around and noticed they were in the living room. “Actually, not on the couch.” </p><p>Yuusuke smiled and leaned over to kiss Makoto’s forehead. “No worries, we’re not doing anything. Neither of us is in good shape,” he admitted. “You seem to have a lot on your mind tonight, though. Is there anything you’d like to tell me?” </p><p>“What? Why are you being so formal all of a sudden?” Makoto sat up and readjusted his glasses, suddenly more sober. He stared at Yuusuke, waiting for an answer. </p><p>“I asked you a question first, remember?” Yuusuke sighed, his hand automatically searching for Makoto’s. “Anyway, you’re obviously upset. What’s going on?” </p><p>Makoto looked away and let himself fall back into the couch with a groan. </p><p>“I’m not--I mean, I’m really happy for them, you know? It’s just…” </p><p>“Just?”</p><p>“That, you know?”</p><p>“No, I don’t know,” Yuusuke said, frustration seeping into his words. “I can’t read your mind, Makoto.” </p><p>“Well, I’m upset… That we can’t get married,” he whispered, covering his face with a cushion. “I know it’s dumb, but I can’t help it.” </p><p>A warmth completely unrelated to alcohol spread all over Yuusuke’s limbs. He couldn’t help the smile that crept up his lips. </p><p>“It’s not dumb,” he said, chuckling a bit. Makoto glared and threw the cushion at him. </p><p>“Now you’re making fun of me! I knew I shouldn’t have said anything, you’re always so…!” </p><p>“It’s not dumb,” he said, seriously this time, as he pulled Makoto’s hand to his lips and kissed it. “Thank you for telling me.” </p><p>Makoto blushed to the tip of his ears and he pulled his hand away, sputtering. “What the hell are you doing!? Stop!” </p><p>“C’mon, don’t be like that.” Yuusuke pouted. “We’ve been together for 15 years and you still haven’t warmed to my gentlemanly charms? I’m hurt.” </p><p>Makoto mellowed at that statement. “Has it been that long?’ he whispered, eyes downcast. Yuusuke hummed and reached for Makoto’s hand again, lacing their fingers together. They stayed quiet for a long moment, both lost in their own maze of memories. </p><p>During their time in high school, Yuusuke had sort of known that Makoto had a crush on him, but Makoto’s traditional thinking had held both of them back and they had fallen into a carefully measured friendship. It had all gone to hell on the night of their graduation party, when the whole team had gotten secretly drunk and Yuusuke had ended up kissing Makoto in the storage room of Keishin’s house. Yuusuke had said they didn’t have to be serious about it, and Makoto had agreed because he had wanted to get married and have kids. But somehow 15 years had gone by and they’d stayed together throughout all of it. </p><p>Makoto suddenly got up, pulling Yuusuke from his thoughts about the past and dispelling the nostalgic mood that surrounded them. Yuusuke stayed on the sofa and followed Makoto’s form with his eyes, in case his reflexes were still too fuzzied by the alcohol. When Makoto retreated to the bathroom, a bang followed by a yelp made Yuusuke wince. He got up and made his way there and leaned on the door frame, arms crossed over his chest. Makoto was peeing, but he turned his head around to glare at Yuusuke. </p><p>“Privacy,” he complained. </p><p>Yuusuke stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Makoto, wiggling his eyebrows. “You were the one that left the door open. I thought you <i>needed</i> my help.” He motioned towards Makoto’s genitals. Makoto rolled his eyes. </p><p>“I’m done here now, no help needed.” </p><p>“Aaright.” Yuusuke let go of him and put his hands up dramatically in apology. Makoto huffed and stomped towards the sink. Yuusuke observed him going through the motions of washing his face and brushing his teeth. </p><p>“I’m sorry we can’t get married,” Yuusuke said. “To be fair, if we could, I’d marry you in an instant.” </p><p>“Right.” Makoto sniffed. “And how do you think your family would like that, huh?” </p><p>“They wouldn’t care! I mean, they don’t seem to care now.” </p><p>Makoto’s toothbrush clattered on the floor and he whipped his head around, eyeing Yuusuke. </p><p>“What…? Do they know about us?” The panic was evident in his voice and Yuusuke knew he had been careless. </p><p>“Look… They know I’m gay. They know I’m living with you. Even if I didn’t spell it out for them, I’m sure they have an idea about what’s going on.” </p><p>Makoto crouched down and buried his face in his hands. Yuusuke was sure now that this had been a bad idea. He crouched next to Makoto, wrapping his arms around his frame. </p><p>“My family always asks about you, Makoto. I’m sure they accept you.” He whispered. Makoto turned his face to him, eyes big and filled with fear. </p><p>“Do you think my family knows?” The question was more like him pondering out loud, not so much asking Yuusuke. </p><p>Yuusuke shook his head anyway. “I doubt it.” </p><p>But Yuusuke often thought about this himself--did they really not know? Makoto had gravitated towards Yuusuke since high school. They even lived together now, and Makoto’s family had made it a habit for years to invite Yuusuke to important family events. At the beginning, Keishin had been there, too, but after Makoto had moved into Yuusuke’s two-bedroom apartment, only Yuusuke had been invited. </p><p>After they had moved in together, their parents' matchmaking attempts stopped as well, and the topic of marriage no longer came up in conversations. He imagined that Makoto’s parents had just assumed and preferred the situation to remain unspoken. Yuusuke knew it was not his place to tell Makoto to come out to his parents, and he was quite comfortable with this unspoken arrangement, but the guilt and anxiety Makoto kept subjecting himself to just broke his heart. He knew eventually this was a storm they would have to brave. </p><p>“Have you ever thought about telling them?” Yuusuke tilted his head, trying to see Makoto’s full face that was now hanging low. Makoto sighed and shook his head. </p><p>“I know it will come up eventually, I mean I’m not getting any younger...” he shrugged. “But at this point I don’t think I could get married to a nice girl and pretend I love her.” He looked away and rubbed the side of his neck. “I can’t imagine myself having this kind of relationship with anyone else.”</p><p>But you—It was unsaid, but Yuusuke had heard it clearly in his heart. </p><p>“When this comes up and they want to disown me or something, at least my younger sister is married and can take over the business, you know?” Makoto added solemnly, trying to cover up for his cheesy slip up.  It was obvious that Makoto dreaded the possibility of that conversation, but Yuusuke was glad that ending their relationship was not an option in Makoto’s head. </p><p>“You worry too much,” Yuusuke said, standing up and pulling Makoto to his feet. “I’m sure things will be fine.”</p><p>Makoto pursed his lips. “And you don’t worry enough! Must be nice, being so easy-going.” </p><p>“Yeah, yeah. You’re totally right.” Yuusuke smiled and wrapped his arm around Makoto’s shoulder. “C’mon, let’s get to bed.” </p><p>In bed, Makoto lay on his side with a small smile on his lips, facing Yuusuke. Pulling the comforter over themselves, they both leaned forward, in sync, pressing their lips together in a chaste kiss. It was like breathing—instinctive and automatic. A natural occurrence. With a sweep of tongue, Yuusuke deepened the kiss. Makoto was his oxygen and without him he would suffocate, he knew this much. He draped an arm over Makoto’s waist and stared at Makoto’s face as he drifted to sleep. When Makoto’s breathing evened out, Yuusuke brushed a few strands of his hair away from his face and kissed him once more. As he himself drifted to sleep, he realized that he, too, wouldn’t be able to think about loving anyone else. </p><p>—</p><p>When Yuusuke woke up, the first thought in his mind was Makoto’s hangover. He admired Makoto’s commitment to his job, as he refused to take sick leave even if he was dying after a night out and had drunk himself half dead. Yuusuke had strategically placed his day off after the engagement party hoping to be the one dying in bed, but since he hadn’t drunk that much in the end, he wanted to do something nice for Makoto. Not just for the sake of his lover, but also for the sake of the people having to share a work shift with him today. </p><p>After his shower and breakfast, Yuusuke made his way into Shimada Mart and greeted the current clerk at the register. Was it Yamada? He couldn’t remember, but it didn’t matter. He had something way more important to take care of. </p><p>“Where is the boss?” He asked, and Yamada straightened up and mutely pointed towards the back of the store, indicating the break room. Was he scared of Yuusuke? The deer-in-the-headlights look he was getting made it seem like so. </p><p>Yuusuke bowed briefly in acknowledgement, but didn’t go immediately, instead walking towards the aisles. He grabbed some aspirin, drinks, the newspaper, and a bag of rice crackers and went back to the register to pay. As he was paying, he eyed the toy capsule machine and his face lit up. </p><p>“Be right back,” he said, leaving his goods with Yamada. The kid just stared as he walked out of the store and nodded belatedly. Yuusuke inspected the toys in the capsule machine and pulled out all the change that he had in his pockets. Several 100 yen coins later, he held up his bounty with satisfaction—a plastic diamond ring. </p><p>As he went back to the store, he thought of his silly plan and couldn't help laughing. He grabbed the bag from the counter and tipped his head at Yamada, who quickly bowed at him. He walked towards the break room and heard Makoto groaning from outside the door. </p><p>“Wow, you look like hell,” Yuusuke commented as he entered the room. Makoto had dark rings under his eyes, his skin looked kind of ashen and the scowl adorning his face completed the awful look. </p><p>“Please, stop me from drinking this much next time,” he whimpered. “And lock the door.” </p><p>Yuusuke winced in sympathy. He locked the door behind him and rummaged through the bag, taking the aspirin box and handing it to Makoto. “Tell me you’ve had some breakfast at least. I can’t believe you wouldn’t grab an aspirin on your own, working in a convenience store.” </p><p>He put the bag on the table in front of him and sat across from Makoto, observing him. </p><p>“Can’t. Messes up the store inventory,” Makoto said as he opened one of the drinks and took a swig, then popped two aspirins into his mouth and drank again. Next he took the rice crackers out of the bag, opened the packet and started munching on them. </p><p>“Well, you could pay for it?” Yuusuke smiled, reaching for the rice cracker packet. Makoto pulled the packet close to his chest and out of Yuusuke’s reach. </p><p>“What? And spend my hard earned salary in my own store? I’d rather earn your money.” He cackled and bit into another rice cracker. </p><p>“Haha, right.” Yuusuke had never been more fascinated by the man in front of him, rice cracker crumbs around his mouth and all. “Listen, there’s something I want to tell you.” </p><p>Makoto hummed and grabbed the newspaper from the bag. “Yeah?” </p><p>The conversation they had had the night before was still fresh in Yuuske’s mind, as well as the sheer joy that had overcome him when he had found out Makoto had every intention to stay with him, through thick and thin. He was a hopeless romantic, and even if they couldn’t get married, he wanted this--a symbolic union. A way to show everyone else that they belonged to one another.</p><p>Yuusuke pulled the toy capsule from his pocket, opening it. The tacky green plastic ring, with a giant pink plastic diamond on top, fell from it, clattering on the floor. Yuusuke knelt to pick it up, the accident giving him the perfect opportunity. Makoto gasped as the newspaper slid from his fingers. </p><p>“What are you doing?” His voice quivered. “What is that?” </p><p>“I wasn’t planning on doing it this way, but,” Yuusuke grinned and presented him the ring. “Shimada Makoto, would you marry me?” </p><p>Makoto opened his mouth and closed it several times, but no sound came out. His face reddened and tears welled at the corner of his eyes and fell, streaking his cheeks. Immediately after, Makoto started sobbing. </p><p>Yuusuke definitely didn’t expect this reaction. He stood up quickly and held Makoto’s face, wiping his cheeks. “I’m… sorry? Are you mad?” </p><p>“You’re an idiot,” Makoto hiccuped. “This is a terrible joke.” </p><p>It dawned on Yuusuke that to Makoto, being the self-deprecating pessimist he had always been, something like this happening seemed too good to be true. He wrapped his arms around Makoto and kissed his temple, his heart swelling with uncontained affection. As Makoto had said, Yuusuke really was an idiot. </p><p>“God, Makoto, it’s not a joke! Sorry for the dumb ring. I promise I’ll get you a nicer one, just—” He sighed. “Just say yes.” </p><p>Makoto stared at him and his lower lip quivered. “Okay,” he whispered. “Yes.”  </p><p>In a heartbeat, Yuusuke slid the toy ring onto Makoto’s left ring finger. Makoto laughed in between sniffles. He looked and sounded positively awful with his tear-stained puffy cheeks and wet laugh, but in Yuusuke’s eyes he had never been more beautiful. </p><p>“God, you have shitty taste. I’ll pick our real rings.” Makoto stared at the ring on his hand for a few moments and then looked up, and Yuusuke was smiling at him. His eyelashes fluttered closed as he leaned up to kiss Yuusuke’s lips. </p><p>It was so natural. Just like breathing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This pairing is adorable, and sadly it doesn't have that many fanworks, so I'm really happy to contribute to their tag! Comments and kudos are more than welcome, enjoy!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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